Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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