i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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