dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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