I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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