dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
