I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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