Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
