If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
