You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
