Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
