so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
