If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I will pee on everything he values.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
