The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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