In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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