He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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