We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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