i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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