We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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