Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
