I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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