dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
