i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
