you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize