Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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