Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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