wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
