No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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