Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He felt like a one man threesome
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
