i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize