i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
