I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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