are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
