Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
