just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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