You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
