I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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