im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
