If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE