just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...