I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.