Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity