I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
