a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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