she pinky promised me she was 18
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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