I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
