Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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