BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
