he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
