Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize