Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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