So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize