Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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