Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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