So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
