I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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