Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
