Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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