if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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