names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
