Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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