Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
