It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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