you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
